Whas dat?

We made it almost two years without this happening to us. I thought for sure I was in the clear. But to my dismay (and amusement), it happened.

Every once in a while, Jeffrey gets his bath time in the morning (rather than evening). It actually works out quite nicely when I'm trying to get ready for work cuz I can contain him in the bathtub while I go through my morning face and hair rituals. In recent weeks, he has learned to appreciate the shower curtain and how much more fun he can have splashing around when the curtain is closed. So, there I was getting my face on when he decided to have some privacy. That's cool. I respect that.

I hear him splashing around and giggling. Every couple of minutes he'd open the curtain just a tad with his arm stretched out holding one of his squirty toys saying "Hep! Hep!" (His word for "help" - he wanted me to fill it so he could spray the shower curtain.) Several minutes went by... And then I hear, "Out! Out!" and "All done!"

Impressed that Jeffrey could decide for himself when he was done playing and wanted to get out and get dressed for the day, I opened the shower curtain.

There before me was my naked child, and a bath full of floating poop.

Good Lord. Poop everywhere. Big chunks, little chunks, and lots of floating debris. I'm just sayin'.

How on earth was I to deal with this? What is the priority? Take my child out first, then somehow scoop the poops, then drain and wash the tub? Or... is there a way to manage all things at once? Being the resourceful mommy I am, I decided to multitask.

So, I pulled the plug, and started fishing out toys into a container (to be bleached). As the water slowly drained, all the poops started floating past Jeffrey who took a keen interest. He asked, "Whas dat? Whas dat?" pointing to the floating poops. I kept telling him, "Don't touch! That's poop! Yucky!" He kept asking, "Whas dat? Whas dat?" very excitedly, as if some new toys just magicly appeared!

As the toys were being fished out, he got a hold of one of his little fish dishes and began following a poop underwater, trying to capture it. Just as he was pulling it out, I grabbed his hand, dumped the poop back into the water and told him again (trying not to laugh), "Don't touch! Yucky!"

The water began to slow... A couple larger turds got wedged into the drain hole, but were too solid to break apart and drain down... So... I had to pick them out (with toilet paper) and plop them into the toilet, all the while trying to keep Jeffrey from grabbing one of the other pieces. (He's 23 months. Apparently poop at this age just screams for attention.)

All big poops gone, water now almost completely drained, I had to rewash my son from head to toe to make sure there weren't any remnants of feces. (I seriously have an issue with this.) I lifted him out, wrapped him in a towel, and turned my attention back to the tub and poopy toys. I re-plugged the tub, began filling it with scalding water, and dumped about a pint of bleach, followed by all the toys.

Child clean, tub and toys in the process of being cleansed and disinfected, I just sighed. Mommy duty complete.

Later that evening, as I returned home from work, I caught a faint hint of "pool" in the hallway. Remembering that the tub was still filled with water and a ridiculous amount of bleach, I returned to the bathroom to drain the tub. I pulled the plug and waited... and waited.... and waited. Um... apparently one of the big poops got stuck in the drain at some point and has slowed the drainage quite a bit. I'm talking sssssslllllloooooowwwwwww. Awesome. The turd has declared revenge. Take two. (No pun intended.)

Luckily... during the draining process, it was dislodged and caused no further backup.

Oh, the joys of motherhood. Daddy wasn't around to see. And now I wish I had taken pictures and/or video. Priceless moments.

"Whas dat? Whas dat?"

It's your poop, dear child.