Rocky Mountain High Colorado

Scott and I were driving home from this little farmers market in Fort Collins discussing how grateful we are.... I wept. Such happy tears! 


I have to post pictures soon (they're all still sitting on my memory card), but for now I'll just tell you about our journey from Oregon to Colorado. Our heads are still spinning! We can't believe how fast this all happened. Once we learned of Scott's job elimination (lay off... firing... whatever you want to call it), God moved in a HUGE way. It was like He just plucked us out of Salem with His bare hands and plopped us right, smack in the middle of where we had longed to be for the last several years. We didn't really have time to think about it. We just put our blinders on and focused on God. We had to run to keep up with Him, but here we are, still a little unsure of how it all happened.


Do we miss Salem? Not in the slightest. We miss a few people for sure. We had some tough goodbyes. But they were bittersweet. Those close to us knew our hearts and knew how unhappy we have been, and, because they love us, prayed with us that God would provide a way, rejoiced with us in all He was doing, and then sent us happily on our way. You never want to say goodbye to close friends, but on the other hand, you do want them to be in a place that is nurturing for them.  


I don't say this to offend... I know some of you love Salem and it's your home. I'm really glad for you! Hey, someone has to call it home, right? But... it just wasn't for us - on so many fronts. I'm just not even going to go down that path, though, because it seems others are so easily hurt by the fact that we didn't like it there. I don't really know why that is. It's like being offending that someone doesn't like peas. It's just preference, that's all. God had us there for a time, for a purpose, and then, in His great mercy, put us on a new path. 


I won't speak for Scott (although I know he feels much the same way), but this has been the easiest transition for me. I think the last few years in Oregon were so hurtful and lonely to me that I've almost blocked them out. The other day, I was talking about where I lived and what came out was Billings, MT... It was like I just bypassed 8 years of my life. Oregon will always have a special place in my heart, though. I grew up there. My childhood home (the house that my father designed and built) still stands on top of a hill overlooking Corvallis. Most of my childhood friends' families are still there. All the good stuff that I remember as a kid growing up is just that. Special memories, special places.... I've moved back twice, I think always with the idea that somehow it would be the same Oregon I remembered growing up. But it never was. Perhaps that is why I was so disappointed. Climate was the same - indeed the rain never changed. But people were different. I really wanted it to be the place I could call home. And I think it finally dawned on me about 2 years ago that it just never would be. I struggled with that quite a bit. You never want to say that your "home" sucks.


Even as an adult, there are a ton of special memories. It's where Scott and I got engaged. Where we bought our first home. Where we had our children. 


When the house was all packed up, everything cleaned out of cabinets and drawers, and the entire house was cleaned, Scott and I did one last walk-through. We walked through the front door, and through every room in the house - remembering, recalling, laughing, crying. That home represents so much of who we were, who we became, and who we longed to be. It was our retreat after a desperate and exhausting day of trying to fit in. 


I think the hardest part about the last two years wasn't so much the realization that it wasn't home. It was the rejection that we received once we voiced it. People we thought were our friends totally turned their backs on us simply because we said we were unhappy and didn't feel the sense of community we were accustomed to in other places. That wasn't a judgment about their friendship because, seriously, if we didn't trust them, we wouldn't have opened ourselves up to them in that way. So it was even more of a stabbing rejection because it came from people we loved. That's hard. Or, maybe we were rejected for other reasons. I don't know. But it doesn't matter. The message was the same. 


Now looking back, I'm kind of glad about that. It made leaving easier. We weren't wanted there. (I don't say that in a "woe is me" way. It's just how we felt we were treated.) 

So, we said our goodbyes, loaded up our entire lives into a 26-foot Penske truck and hit the road, never looking back. In fact, we had this plan of stopping on the side of the road by the leaving Oregon sign (which actually says, "Oregon thanks you. Please come again soon.") and taking the canister of dirt from our vacuum cleaner and dumping it on the ground - leaving Oregon dirt where it belongs - symbolic of the dirt and gunk and marks we've collected over the years, leaving it behind to start afresh. Unfortunately, the border came up super fast, and it's hard to stop a 26-foot truck, attached to which is a trailer on which is a car - all loaded with over 27,000 pounds of belongings. So... we just said, "See ya" and continued on our way.


That in and of itself is funny to me because I remember as we were getting closer, the air was different. It smelled different... It felt different. I was thinking to myself, we must be getting close to leaving Oregon. And then WHAM, we were in Idaho (or "Hidy-HO!" as my friend Jonathan would say).

1281 miles, 3 days, 2 adults, 2 children, and several tons of "stuff"... we finally made it to Colorado.


As I was crossing the border out of Wyoming into Colorado, Phil Wickham was singing "Home" and I cried. We made it. We MADE IT! All the tears... all the pain... all the changes... all the rejection... worth it. Totally worth it. 


And then I got Jack Johnson going.... Sort of the anthem of our journey. And I celebrated!


Throughout our trip, we had friends calling to check on us, see how we're doing, where we were, whether or not we found a Starbucks.... Our friends in Colorado were checking to see what they could do for us, if we needed them to meet us at our new place and bring us anything... The kids traveled really well. Hardly a peep of complaint from them. I think even they sensed a new beginning.

We just spent that first night alone in an empty condo, but the next morning Jey, Todd and Shawn showed up to help Scott unload the truck. Lisa came with Trinity and totally took control of the kids so that I could just focus on organizing boxes, etc. Sara showed up later with her brood just to hang out, and brought cold water and sandwich stuff.... We missed Gretchen and the kids, but her family was in town, so we knew we'd catch up with her later. Ahhhhh, home. 

I wish I could describe it to you. I mean... I could describe our new place, the beautiful view, the 8 miles of walking trails, the river and the lakes right by our house, all the shopping and restaurants within walking distance, and the layers of Rockies that loom in the near distance (15 minutes away), but... I'll do that later. What I wish I could describe is the feeling of "home" and acceptance. It's more than the climate and the landscape. Yes, it's sunny over 300 days a year. There's everything you ever wanted in outdoor activities right outside your front door. (Last night, Scott bought a pair of waders for fly fishing....)  That's all great. (And I mean, really great!) But what's best is our friends that are here. The friends we've been missing for... well... 8 years. It's really more like family, only functional. All the husbands were cut from the same intellectual fabric. All us wives are just odd enough to be perfect for them. And our kids... well... they love each other too. Trinity likes to hold Jeffrey's hand. Ransom likes to tackle him to the ground. Haavah likes to steal Eden's binky. Ransom and Jeffrey smoosh the baby's cheeks together saying, "Chubba-chubba!" 

The first night here, I slept harder than I've slept in years. I just feel this massive weight off my shoulders.  It's incredible the way that God has blessed us. I can't explain it. I don't know why He chose to bless us in this way, why he chose to answer our prayers and give us the desires of our hearts. I just don't know. But I am so, so grateful. 


There have already been some hilarious stories I'll have to write about. One involves why they made swim diapers. The other involves Rocky Mountain National Park and carsickness. But for now, I just want to say we're home. Right where we belong. 


For those of you who stood by us these last few months, we're grateful for your prayers. We drew strength from your encouragement, and we felt you with us as we made our way home. The good news is that Colorado is a great place to visit! ** Hint hint ** 

Oregon flabbery

Have you ever had those moments that you look forward to and then when they happen, they are both exciting and sad at the same time? I just had one of those moments today.  More about that in a few days....

I've been having some "medical" issues. Not really "issues" but I don't know what else to call them. Not procedures. Through a routine physical (like, my first complete physical from head to toe), I was told that my thyroid is "large". Hilarious. I can see this now:

Me: "Honey, do these jeans make me look fat?"
Scott: "No, but your thyroid does."

So, I made a follow up appointment with my doc to get the thyroid checked out. He poked and squeezed (which is never really a good feeling - to have your thyroid squeezed. I mean, they might as well just choke you.), followed by a, "Uh....huh... O... K..." as if to say, "Well... I don't see what the big deal is." But, just to be on the safe side, he sent me for some blood work to check, specifically, my thyroid function.

Today, I got a call from the first doc with the results of my blood work. Everything looks great! Except (**dun-dun-DUN**) my liver enzymes are low - most likely due to nursing (gee, ya think?), and I may need a measels booster. I didn't test positive or negative for measels. Um... how is this possible? I mean, I can't "maybe have measels", right? That's kind of like being a little bit pregnant. Either you are or you aren't. Either you have measels or you don't. So I might have to get a booster... but that, too, will have to be followed up with by my regular doc. Weird.

Then, 10 minutes later my phone rings again and this time it is my regular doc's nurse, who tells me they got the results back from the thyroid test. Seems whatever it is they test for is low... and doc wants me on a medication and then to come back in 10-12 weeks for another test. I asked if this medication is safe to take while nursing. The response? "Um... I don't know. Let me call the doctor and give you a call back." That was 2 hours ago, and I still haven't heard. Just for the record, I won't take anything that isn't safe to take while nursing. And I'm not going to stop nursing just to take a medication that isn't going to have life or death consequences. I mean, really....

Oh, the jokes that fly in my household with this type of news. So, not only do I have a fat thyroid, but now it may be retarded, and maybe I have measels on top of that. Brilliant! (Just soes ya knows, I don't have measels... I'm being facetious. It just makes me laugh to think that one wouldn't test neither positive nor negative. It would seem to me that it would be one or the other.)

Several years ago when I was getting all kinds of headaches, I ended up with a CT scan and MRI, which showed that I had a few blown discs, that may be causing some nerve damage. Since that time, my adoring husband has been calling me Nerve Damage. It's all very endearing. (Oh, and to avoid the cliff hanger on this story, it turns out that the one has nothing to do with the other, and I, like so many others, have the privilege of living with migraines. Oh, happy joy.)

I can't even imagine what he'll come up with now. But I assure you, you'll be amongst the first to know.

The good news is that since my thyroid levels are low, and assuming that whatever drug they want me on will fix it, I may see a weight loss... (And it may also stop my hair from falling out, which is normal after a birth of a baby, but this is riduculous!)  That'd be nice. I'm never one to blame weight gain on anything other than my own choices, but if I can blame 5-10 pounds on a stupid thyroid, then I'm all for it!

On a related front, when I weighed in last Monday (a week ago), I was 3 pounds lighter than when I first got preggers with Jeffrey (which is 13 pounds lighter than I was when I got preggers with Eden). Then, three days later when I had my thyroid follow up, I was down another 2 pounds. So, at least I'm moving in the right direction. It helps to be nursing. It also helps to be on vacation and enjoying sunshine. (The sun and I are good friends.)  Good thing I kept my skinny-skinny (pre-Oregon flabbery) jeans, huh? Ya never know. Someday, just someday, I may actually fit into them again... 40 pounds lighter. And I mean a true fit. Not a forced, lay on the bed sucking in my tummy and forcing the zipper up, then barely being able to stand and looking as if my lower half had been melted down and poured into the jean mold kind of fit. (In case you're getting a mental image, that's REALLY tight. And we all have seen women do this. Seriously. Not only is that completely unflattering to every body part lower than the shoulder, it's just wrong to think it looks good. Tight jeans like that do NOT make you look skinny (unless you actually are). Stop kidding yourself and embrace the poundage that has become a part of you.)

Ahh, that would be a good day. It has been at least 7 years since I've fit into anything even resembling my pre-Oregon skinny jeans.

All this to say, Oregon has not been good for my health. I've gotten fat. My thyroid is rebelling and going into hibernation. And I'm on the cusp of a measels outbreak. Not to mention nerve damage.

Why?

**shaking fists at the sky**

WHY????

Ok. I'm over it.

But I still need a drink. These last few months have been over the top stressful and frankly, I just want a martini which I have denied myself for far too long.

Amen.

I'm stuck behind two idiots!

I cannot tell you how much I fear Oregon drivers. I've been a lot of places and no one drives as terribly as the people in Oregon. I'd rather drive in the Caribbean (where they drive C.R.A.Z.Y.) than in this state.

For two days in a row on my way to work, I've been stuck behind people going exactly 2 miles per hour under the speed limit. Four lanes, 2 in either direction, 2 cars right next to each other, hogging the entire west-bound direction, driving slower than molasses.

First, don't drive next to each other. That's just bad form. It would be like two men standing at the urinal looking down at each other. It's just not acceptable.

Second, don't drive under the speed limit. And for God's sake, don't slow down at every intersection when the light is green, there are no pedestrians, bicyclists, babies, animals or aliens. Why in the name of all things holy, are you slowing down to 15 mph??

Third, don't ride your brakes. This isn't good for your brakes, your car, the environment, or the people driving behind you.

Fourth, you shouldn't sit 2 inches behind the steering wheel with your seat belt cut into your neck, or (worse) your shoulder strap stuck under your armpit. That's just too freakin' close to the steering wheel. If you get in an accident (which you will surely cause), not only will you slam your head on the steering wheel faster than your airbag can deploy, but you will be burned when your airbag deploys after you slam your head on the steering wheel.

Fifth, when a pedestrian enters a crosswalk, that is not a signal to you to hurry through and beat them across. Remember, you're driving a 3000 pound steel missile. Just stop and let the pedestrian cross safely. It's the law.

Sixth, just please stop driving like an ass.

These are the same people who merge onto the freeway going 40 mph slower than the speed of traffic, and who drive 35 mph all through town, regardless of the posted speed limit. Example: Cordon Road is in some places 55 mph and in other places 40 mph. There is hardly a day that I don't get stuck behind someone going 35... the entire way. It's like they have blinders on and don't pay attention to ANY sign, much less the posted speed limit sign. 35! EVERYWHERE. It drives me nuts. These same people go 35 mph through school zones... and turn the wrong way on one-way streets. Seriously??? Do they not see the freakin' signs???

They are probably the ones who are on their cell phones and texting. (Seriously, the dumbest and most unsafe habit behind the wheel. Get your eyes off your stupid iPhone and pay attention to the road!)

And don't get me started on 4-way stop signs.... Everyone just sits there, refusing to go... and when someone finally does, it's like they all got the idea at the same time, and start entering the intersection together... then they stop and wave each other on, no one going... It starts all friendly. They smile and wave at each other as if saying, "No, really. I insist. You go first." Then after 3 minutes of going, and stopping, going and stopping, they are now pissed at each other and wave at each other as if saying, "Just freakin' go already!!!" 

I just can't believe this actually happens. Why is stopping at a 4-way so confusing? It's not that hard, people. Whoever stops first, gets to go first. When in doubt, yeild to the driver on your right. And if someone waves you on, GO! Don't wave back at them unless you're waving to say, "Thank you, kind person, for letting me go first even though you had the right of way."

These are the same people who freak out when they drive, say, in Los Angeles. Or Chicago. Or any other major metropolis.... And then come home to tell everyone how crappy those drivers are, even though they merge at the speed of traffic, drive the speed limit (or 5 mph over), pay attention to street signs, yield to pedestrians, accept their right of way and enter a 4-way intersection properly, and use their mirrors when changing lanes.

Why isn't driver's training an absolute prerequisite to receiving a driver's license in the state? When I was learning to drive in California, I was required to complete 30 hours of class instruction, and 6 hours with a state-licensed instructor behind the wheel. The state-instructor verified that I completed the requirements - not my parent. This was in addition to the parent-trainer scenario of driving with a permit... In Oregon, a parent can sign off... There is no requirement to complete class instruction or behind the wheel training with a certified instructor. A parent can just sign off to "certify" your driving experience. (I can see it now... A 16-year old goes to his parent after backing out of the driveway 10 times and driving around a few parking lots, and the parent says, "Yep. You're a safe driver. I've seen you avoid a dumpster and 2 parked cars. You're ready for the road! Let me sign that for you.") So, that means, a crappy driver gets to teach a naive, inexperienced, uneducated teenager how to be a crappy driver. The result is a state full of ignorant, inexperienced, oblivious, dangerous drivers.

Oh, the humanity! I really wish Oregon would get a clue and require driver's training courses. The roads would be safer, our kids would be safer, and it would just be a much more pleasant experience for the rest of us who have to share the road with you.

Now, seriously, if you learned to drive and received your license in this state, please don't email me to tell me how wrong I am. Every other person from another state agrees with me. Ask them. They will tell you. And if they don't, it's because they are just inherently crappy drivers and their opinion is now moot.

Ok. **sigh **  I got that out of my system. I feel much better now. My day can go on. 

Memories of Home

I'm a happy subscriber to Sunset magazine. I can't help it. Not only do I love the recipes (cuz, as you may know by now, my husband and I love to create culinary masterpieces in the comfort of our own kitchen), but I also love the articles on NW gardens and weekend getaways.

This month (well... March), I was delighted to see a segment on the West's Top 20 Small Towns. I love small towns. I always thought I was a big city, urban kinda gal. I probably was for a season. But, now that I've weeded out all the noise and I'm settling into a welcomed, peaceful time in my life, I really miss what small towns have to offer. It breaks my heart when I wake up in Salem every day - a town that offers so little; void of identity, ownership, community and heart, but yet has so much potential! I dream of living in a small town again....

I grew up in Corvallis, Oregon. I had a great childhood (in some ways), but once I hit the teen years, I dreamed (drempt? what is the past tense of dream?) of a place where I could spread my wings and taste freedom. (So, I ended up in Los Angeles... Got my taste. Check.) Now, I dream of returning. I love Corvallis. It's such a cute little college town with a ton of culture and life. There are wonderful little eateries, places to taste fine wine and fine food, enjoy community: the central library, Central Park, the Beanery, hiking not too far off, and lots of friendly faces. Got my tattoos in Corvallis (Sacred Art Tattoo, baby!). I have a ton of great memories - baseball games, football games, swimming at the Aquatic Center, 4th of July at the waterfront, barbecues and my dad's company picnics at Avery Park (where the dinosaur bones are!), Ridgewood Hill (my childhood home) summer cleanup, da Vinci Days, the Fall Festival, just too many childhood memories to count. I drank my first beer (both legal and underage - whoops) in Corvallis. I bought my wedding dress in Corvallis. Floated down the Willamette for the first time in Corvallis... (My favorite Chinese restaurant of all time is there - China Blue. Order the Singapore Noodles if you ever have the chance. They are to die for!) Corvallis sure has it changed over the years. It has become a quaint little city, with lots to offer young and old alike. I would love to raise my children there.

Fun fact: Did you know that no building in downtown Corvallis can be taller than the Courthouse? (Actually, according to city planning, no building can exceed 75 feet, which I believe is just shy of the total height of the courthouse...)

So, back to Sunset, Corvallis was listed as one of the Top 20 Small Towns! Yea, Corvallis! (Read the article here.) Who knew that the town I couldn't wait to leave would end up on the West's Top 20 all these years later. So cool. Hats off to all yous who live in Corvallis. I hope you know what a great little town you live in.