Christmas and Running

Christmas cards.

I love sending them. I love receiving them. I don't even mind signing my name 150 times on all the corporate "seasons greetings" cards.

But why, oh why, do I procrastinate so?

I SO love Christmas. I love the music. I love the decorations. I love the food. I love the social gatherings. And now I love the location - where people are actually happy when they shop, and still smile when they stand in long lines at the cash registers. Where there is snow and crisp, clean air, and Christmas lights everywhere.

It really feels like Christmas. I've missed this.

It's hard to believe we're into the second week of December. I saw a sign the other day at a cash register that said, "17 more days 'til Christmas."

And I thought, "Holy Kris Kringle! 17 more days???" Where did this year go?

And next thing I know, I'll be 38.

The good news is, I started running again. Instead of locking myself away for 8 1/2 months to avoid gray skies and depressing rain, and gaining another 10 pounds, I'm actually motivated to get up at 4:45, make it to the gym by 5:00 (and with a massive smile on my face), and hit the treadmill, that is until we start seeing temps above 50 - then I'll hit the trails.

It's crazy to actually feel motivated again. I gotta tell ya. That feels good. It has been a long, long time since I felt that way. I think I lost it within 6 months of moving to Oregon. I'm wearing pants I haven't worn in 4 years. There's a whole section of my closet that will soon be finding a new home with Goodwill. A bazillion pairs of Ann Taylor pants and tops, some of which are hardly worn at all. Practically a whole wardrobe. I'm happy to get rid of them. And while I have a few pairs of smaller sizes, I'm actually really happy I dumped my closet a few years back. I don't want to wear old, used, out of date clothes that I once wore. I want to treat myself to new stuff. Like a little reward. Not in an arrogant way. Just in a, "Damn, it feels good to feel good again" way.

I used to love running. Especially down hill. I always loved getting so much momentum that my legs could hardly keep in front of my body. Weeeeeee!!!!!! I'd spread my arms out like I was flying - and sometimes it felt that way. A massive smile on my face, with the wind drying my teeth out so my upper lip would get stuck. Perma-smile.

Then... I gained 50 pounds over the course of 8 years. And when I tried running I discovered pain in places I didn't even know I had places.

And I cried.

But... I'm running again! Ok... not quite a full run, but I'm jogging at a nice pace. And I'm smiling, too.

Just me. And my iPod. And my breathing. And the rhythm of my steps beating the treadmill, or the trail, or the road.

That makes me happy.

Just like getting my Christmas cards in the mail before Christmas.