The value of a friend

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:13

Friends. They're few and far between. 

I miss this friend:

Michelle & me out for a day of pampering
just a few days before I left Oregon.

And this friend:

Melissa & me - my best friend
from Montana

And this friend:



Heather & me - my friend of 35 years
(since I was 2 years old)



And these friends:



Our Friday Night Bible Study (aka "BS")
Dale & Susan, Dave & Karen, Wes & Mickey
Fridays just aren't the same without them.

These are just a few of the precious few who I allow into the inner-inner-me. (Others of you... far away and local... you know who you are.)

These are (some of) the people I trust with all my pieces - some whole, some tattered and broken, some healed but scarred. These are the people who know my junk, and yet still find me somewhat lovable. They don't judge. They don't condemn. They don't get angry when I disagree. They challenge and stretch me. (Proverbs 27:17: "As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.")  They sometimes have to strain to understand me. They encourage and support me. They laugh with me (and sometimes at me). They've shared my pain, my joy, my sorrow, my guilt, my disappointment, my excitement...  They've prayed with me, and prayed for me when I didn't have the strength. They've kicked me in the pants when I was feeling sorry for myself. They've been through the trenches with me. (Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.")

They've seen me at my best.

They've seen me at my worst.

They've given me room to find my way, and allowed me to hold on to their belt loops when I've lost my way. When I've hurt them, they accepted my apology. If I ask for their feedback (and sometimes when I don't), they are honest with me (sometimes brutally so). (Proverbs 27:6: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.")  If they were angry with me, they didn't spew my secrets out of spite.  (Proverbs 17:9: "He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.") 

They never required me to fit a certain mold. They require nothing. 

They know me.

Beautiful, beautiful friendship. 

I'm sorry to say, there have been times in my life when I haven't been such a good friend. In some cases, the friendship deepened. In some cases, I was left in the dust. I probably deserved that. And there have been times when I wasn't healthy enough in my own skin to be much of a friend. Either way, I'm grateful for the journey. It's another life lesson that makes us all the more wise.

I have lost a lot of "friends" in my life - especially the last 3 or 4 years. (Maybe due to one of the reasons I mentioned above.) I've had to learn to be much more discerning with whom I share my life. One thing I can tell you is without my friends (my "Willage"), I'd be a miserable, lonely person. I need the community, the fellowship, the accountability.

I don't take friendships lightly.

I'm incredibly grateful for the friends I have. They are few and far between.

So, forgive me if I'm cautious. I just tread lightly these days.

And if I share my life with you, it's because I trust you. Please don't misuse that.

God created us to be in communion with one another - and with Him. We weren't meant to go through life alone. Luckily, there's a Friend closer than a brother. I can tell you from experience, any earthly friendship pales in comparison. 

You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

John 15:14