A Happy Place

I just don't blog like I used to. Simply stated, I just don't have the time. Back to working 40+ hours per week, plus a 30-45 minute commute (one way), plus having to get both kids up, fed and ready in time to drop them off at school, and then get myself to work on time, then back home in time to play with the kids a little, get them bathed and fed, read to and tucked in bed, and maybe, just maybe, I might have a little time to say hello to the spousal unit and grab a snuggle with him, too. 

**sigh**

Life is very different these days, for sure.

But, oh, so rich. I love, love, LOVE... LOVE (one more for good measure) my life. We live in a tiny little 2 bedroom, upper condo. We've never been so smooshed together as a family. Personal space is definitely violated. Our kitchen is about half what it was in our Oregon home (which is kind of a big deal for us because we love to cook and entertain). Gone (for now) are the days of massive dinner parties and Super Bowl gatherings (unless, of course, people don't mind sitting on each other's laps and "standing room only"). But, welcome are the days of sunny skies, fresh mountain air (except when the wind turns west and the wreak of Greeley blows in our open windows), long walks (and an occasional run), and the joy of the company of friends who enthusiastically accept an invitation to meet for coffee - regardless of whatever else they have going on.  

I love my job, in a way that I only dreamed possible (followed by a laugh, as if that could ever happen). I feel valued. I feel welcomed. I feel like I'm a part of the future of the organization; not just a necessary nuisance that someone threw out on the table and got a few nods of acceptance when the idea popped up.  

I was missing Oregon (gasp!) a couple weeks ago when I thought of fall.... I missed the misty mornings, bundling up the family and grabbing some coffee, hot chocolate and a donut as part of an early morning walk. When it was early enough, some passers by would actually say hello and not just look away real quick when we offered a "Good morning!" 

Then on Saturday I woke up... to a misty morning, with low-lying fog, and I bundled up my family, grabbed some hot chocolate and headed out to meet up with some friends. It was like a fall morning in Oregon, only we weren't alone. And in the deepest parts of my heart where I had hidden myself away to protect from the many hurts and rejections I had become accustomed to, I rejoiced. 

I feel like I've arrived.... Arrived in a place where I can allow others close to me, without fear of being stomped. Arrived in a place where my worship of Jesus isn't done in a "certain" way, in a "certain" place, with "certain" people. 

I've arrived in my Happy Place! And I actually live here! This is reality! Not just the Happy Place that I'd retreat to in my mind when everything around me was broken to pieces. 

My kids are happier. My husband is happier. I am happier. 

The Big Boss even commented to me the other day, "Well, you look happy!"

And it dawned on me that... yes... I am happy! 

Can I just say that it feels really good to feel happy? Not that I wasn't happy before, because I'm just typically a naturally happy person. But now I feel like I don't have to choose to be happy. I just am.

God did this. I said months ago at a very low point, "Just watch what God can do." Now I get to boast, "Look what God did!"