Another funny word for "The List"

Hoof

I was reminded of this word tonight when my realtor (love you, Mia!) came over to fix our 'for sale' sign (that the ghetto neighbor hit 2 days prior when she was backing out of the shared drive like a bat out of hell at 9:30 at night, hitting our FULL recycle can, which hit our FULL trash can (which were both waiting patiently and innocently on the curb for trash day the following morning), which lauched and hit the "Exclusively by John L Scott" sign, knocking it off of the pole. Yes, this is true. You know there had to be some serious speed involved if you knocked a (I repeat) full recycling receptacle into a full trash can, launching it up and into a for sale sign, knocking it completely off the pole it was hanging from. Trash all over. All I can say is 1) Oregon driver; and b) thank you, Jesus, it wasn't my or someone else's kid.) 

The funny thing about that is we went running out there seconds later, and we heard at least a couple of girls running and giggling down the side of their house (clearly trying to run away). Scott marched over to their house ready to kick some butt. He thought it was Fathead (ghetto neighbor - father of at least 7 out of the 9 kids that live there) was responsible.  The mom (Fathead's girlfriend/wife) had zoomed onto their front lawn and was hurriedly trying to get out of the car and run inside like the others. Seeing it wasn't Fathead, Scott just said, "So, ya gonna clean up the trash?" She responded, "Yes, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry...."

Ok, maybe it was an accident, I'll grant that. But she was clearly trying to flee the scene. Nice. (Love thy neighbor, love thy neighbor, love thy neighbor...)

I digress.

So, Mia came to fix the sign - blah blah blah. It was perfect timing as Scott was out there manhandling it back on to the pole when she pulled up. She inspected his handy-work and gave him the two thumbs up.

The three of us got to talking - and she mentioned that she needed to head out because her girls were waiting in the car, and probably eating chocolate which surely would be getting all over.

Another side note (seriously, funny stuff happens all the time), Mia's girls are art ninjas. The minute she steps away, they are drawing on stuff - with whatever happens to offer color at the time. Sometimes it's pens. Sometime's it's paint or crayons. Sometimes it's juice or another food item. She has caught them on numerous occasions drawing (or spilling) things on her white carpet. A couple of weeks ago, we ran into each other outside church. They had climbed into the minivan while she and I talked. Fifteen minutes later, she says, "I better go. Who knows what they're doing."  Two minutes after that, I receive a text that says, "This is what they were doing," with a picture attached of some scribbles all over the tan leather seat. Awesome.

Anyway, that led to my "kudos to you" comment for giving up chocolate for over a year! (That's some serious discipline right there!) She then made the comment back that she just had to do this because she's so addicted... it makes her "unclean." HAHAHA!!!

So, like clockwork, that got Scott and I on a roll. I said, "She's like a woman with the issue of chocolate."

And then Scott said, "It's like your hoven cloof."

What?

He said it again, but then quickly added, "That doesn't sound right. Hoven? Is that right? Kyra, what am I trying to say?"

I said, "Hoven cloof?" Pause.  "OOooohh, you mean 'cloven hoof'!"

HAHAAHA Oh, we had a good laugh at that one.

We laughed about that well into the evening. I realized around 8:30 this evening that the word "hoof" is hilarious.

Thus, it's on the list.