Speaking of high fructose corn syrup... It's in everything. The other day, Scott and I were looking at the ingredients of a can of chopped tomatoes and discovered, yes, high fructose corn syrup. Someone please tell me why this is necessary. Tomatoes are sweet on their own. Sweetener of any variety is not required... Kind of ridiculous. Needless to say, we were a bit peeved and we are now committed to reading the ingredients on everything - even the foods we think would be left well enough alone, but now know that they aren't.
Fat people. They are everywhere. (There's one typing this post... That's me, if you haven't figured it out.) Whenever I see fat people, I think High Fructose Corn Syrup. I say to myself, "I'll be that person eats a lot of high fructose corn syrup." Even if it's not true (which, I bet it is even if they don't know it), it's just funny to say.
Here's my problem. I love crunchy, salty foods. I'm just as happy with a cucumber with a bit of salt on it as I am with a handful of potato chips. My mother-in-law has a cupboard full of 10 different varieties of chips... and no cucumbers. So, while I pretty much avoid chips all week long, come Friday and Saturday, I could gobble down a half a bag without thinking about it. In case you're wondering, that's not good for me and may or may not be contributing to the size of my butt. I'm just sayin.
But speaking of tomatoes, the Picklebean loves them. I grew 3 tomato plants last year, and he pretty much cleaned house on every one of them. Whether the tomatoes were green, orange or red, he didn't care. He polished them off every day. I think I got one or two. There are worse things for my son to eat, so I certainly am not complaining. However, I think this year, I'm going to hide a plant somewhere so I get to enjoy a few myself. The little stinker.
I have a piece of Granny Apple skin stuck between my front teeth. I hate that.
And speaking of stinkers, something has gone a-foul inside our yard debris can. It's like 3 years worth of fermented grass has seeped into the plastic. I can't get rid of that smell. Seriously nasty! It's like stale pond water and decaying amphibians... Just not okay. We've tried power-washing... (which, by the way, you have to be very careful about, otherwise if you spray just right (or wrong) it will all come blasting back out at you like a canon... I don't know about you, but I'm not crazy about smelling like stale pond water and decaying amphibians. Gross.)
And speaking of gross, my hair is falling out by the handfuls. One thing I love about pregnancy is how thick and healthy my hair gets. I may look like a bloated cow, but at least my hair looks and feels good. But... as predicted and expected, just a couple of months after the baby is born, my hair begins to fall out. I lose the thick, luxuriousness and end up with the stringy, baby-thin hair I've lived with all my life. Hair is everywhere. It's stuck on the shower wall. It's in the sink. It's on the floor. We found a hair in the refrigerator. IN THE REFRIGERATOR. Seriously? At what point is this even remotely okay? It's not. Ever. I heard a comedian talk about wet hair... I don't remember who it was but it went something like this:
You could be walking on the street and accidentally touch someone's hair and it's no big deal. But get that hair wet and stick it in the drain and you could rob a bank with that stuff. Put it on the end of a stick, walk in and say, "Yeah! You know what this is! Gimme all your dough!"I believe that is true. Wet drain hair is disgusting.... All soapy and slimy and foamy and wet... **heebie jeebies**
But, it's time to get my hair cut. Now that half of it has fallen out, it's time to give it some TLC. (The last time I had it cut was in September, 6 months ago.) Needless to say, it's not lookin' so good.
If you haven't played Super Mario Bros for Wii, you should. It's super fun. I always love Mario Bros video games, but this one is especially fun because a) it's on the Wii (bonus), and 2) you can play with up to 4 players simultaneously. That's at the same time, people. Four. I've never played with 4, but Scott and I have played together. It is a freakin' scream. We get laughing so hard that we can hardly play.
It's kind of like racquetball. We used to play racquetball quite a bit when we lived in Lake Oswego. We had a racquetball court in our apartment complex. Oh my goodness, did we suck! It was hysterical. Scott got really good at being able to serve the ball such that it would go straight into the corner. I couldn't hit that thing to save my life. We laughed so hard we'd almost pee.
A few weeks ago, we got invited to a friends house (mamasan's neighbors, to be exact) to hang out. For those of you keeping up with this, this is Bella's family... Bella, as in Jeffrey's little girlfriend (seen here).Anyway, Bella's mom and I were enjoying a margarita (or several). I don't remember what we were talking about, but apparently I got on a roll. She started laughing... and laughing... And eventually had to excuse herself to go pee cuz she almost peed on the floor. That, to me, is comedy. If you can make someone laugh so hard they pee themselves, that is success right there. Score.
I love to laugh. I don't just like it. I love it. I love a good belly laugh. I love the kind of laugh that goes silent, save a few little squeaks here and there. Or when something strikes you so funny so quickly that you don't even have time to take a breath. What's cool about laughing is that it is so contagious. Do you ever find yourself laughing along when you see other people laughing, even if you don't know what they're laughing about? (And hopefully it isn't you, but so what if it is? It's still a good laugh.) Not only do I love a good laugh, but I love good laughs, as in the sound the people make. Some laughs, granted, are annoying as all hell. But some people have GREAT laughs. Scott has a great laugh. There is something about his laugh that just makes me laugh too. Jeffrey has a great laugh. He actually has a few of them, but there is one that is particularly cute. I can't even begin to describe it. You'll just have to trust me. My mother-in-law (Mamasan) has a bunch of laughs, too. They are HY-STER-I-CAL!!! She makes all kinds of noises. She squeaks, she squawks, she rattles, she snorts... It is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. When the whole family is together, this is like the ultimate goal: get Mamasan laughing so hard she loses all control and starts making hilarious sounds. Thems some good times.
Welp... I think I've done enough damage for one day. I could just go on and on like this. But... I won't.
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