What rolls down stairsand over the chairs
and into your neighbor's dog?
It fits on your back,
It's good for a snack,
Everyone knows it's log.
It's log, it's log,
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's log, it's log,
it's better than bad, it's good.
And this time of year, there's all this talk about the yule log, which, according to Wikipedia (you know, the resource for all things you want to know, and since it's listed in Wikipedia, it must be true) is a large log (haha) that's burned at the hearth as part of a Christmas or winter celebration... perhaps pagan... Hmmmm... That's just what I want burning in my living room on Christmas morning. I would like to celebrate the birth of our Lord by burning pagan wood.
And apparently, this log is SO popular, there is even a channel dedicated to it from now until January 2, 2009: "Yule Log". Wow. It is so real. I'm certain that if I turned to that channel and left it there, when we have company they will totally think our television has miraculously turned into a fireplace. Awesome.
There are even cakes you can make to look like a yule log. Check it:
This one looks especially delicious:
Yeah. I'd like a chunk of that on my plate, please.
Gross.
No one will believe your TV is a fireplace. No one wants to watch 5 hours of looped video of someone else's gas fireplace on Christmas morning. And no one wants to slice into a cake that looks like a massive turd with fungus growing on it. Yummy.
People, seriously. Go without the yule log.
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